Limiting beliefs

I've experienced enough relationships in my life to begin to have a clear vision of what I want in a man and from a relationship. One of the key qualities that became a requirement for me is emotional availability. I want someone who can express openly, honestly, yet compassionately how he feels and what he thinks...another term might be emotionally mature. I had learned through the course of relationships and through much of my own self-growth work that I had been emotionally unavailable in my life and relationships. I won't go into specifics as to why (at least not in this writing), but will just say it was the result of environment and conditioning. It is well written in psychological self-improvement books that you often attract in another those qualities in yourself that you dislike, but unless you are aware of yourself you think it's just something wrong with the other person. I personally don't like to use the word wrong when referring to someone else, but to speak in general terms, that's what humans think...there is something wrong with other people. So I became aware of this characteristic in myself. I had a difficult time truly expressing my feelings, allowing myself to be open and vulnerable to others. I've worked hard at changing that about myself and I think I've come a long way. Even with my friends I feel I'm much more open in telling them how I feel about them and our friendship. Given all the self-work I've done and continue to do, I thought now I would find that man who was emotionally available. And in the beginning of this last relationship, I thought John (not his real name) was. However, it did not take me long to figure out I mistook affection for emotional availability. This would be no revelation to him. I spoke to him about it and he agreed. Now I had to look at why, yet again, did I attract an emotionally unavailable man? I had been clear on my desire and I had done the self-work, what's the deal? The answer came to me the other day. I had a limiting belief that men are emotionally unavailable and it is not possible to find a man who possesses all the qualities I want. This speaks to what many call the law of attraction....your thoughts create your reality... I believe that is true. However, so do your beliefs. Beliefs are thoughts you thought over and over again and they became a core belief. If it's a belief of lack, then it is a limiting belief. I am grateful I came to this realization so that I can now begin to change my thinking and my core belief on men...I can and will have a man who possesses all the qualities I want.

Namaste